Kestrels annihilate foul Puddlemere

Kenmare Kestrels - 1220* vs Puddlemere United - 100

	United	Kestrels
Keeper	Wood (C)	O’Hare (C)
Chasers	Pittiman	McNally
	Santini	Rosebottom
	Blijk	Watkins
Beaters	Blenkinsop	Winston
	Ellesmere	O’Brien
Seeker	Kiddell	Denshaw

At the start of the season few would have predicted that the Kenmare Kestrels would ever be ahead of Puddlemere United on the ladder. Yet here it stood. The two teams were a single win apart right on the juncture of the top eight, setting up a blockbuster encounter which could make or break either team’s finals chances.

But if recent form was anything to go by, it would take a lot of improvement from Puddlemere just to be competitive against the Kestrels. In Round 9 they became the first team held scoreless all season. Yet it was against the peerless Magpies, but it was still a thoroughly unacceptable display and six of the seven involved could consider themselves extremely lucky to remain in the side.

Philantha Beamish provided more ammunition to those critics who accuse her of being loyal to a fault. Puddlemere are properly in turmoil and the single (albeit inevitable) dropping of Druella Dingle in favour of Zara Pittiman was scant response. Donaghan Kiddell, who must surely be suffering through the worst season of his illustrious career, could perhaps by now, dare the thought, be holding onto his place in the team on reputation and sentiment solely, for his form has been exceedingly poor.

Kestrels manager Seamus O’Mahoney knows how fickle this game can be and did not rest on the laurels of his opponent’s tumult. He too made a change, installing the less experienced but more dexterous and intimidating Griflet O’Brien over the less spectacular utility value of Rabanus Tuckett.

But from the very opening play, when Nym Santina fumbled a regulation pass straight into the grateful hands of Fearghal Watkins who promptly opened the scoring, it was plain as day that Puddlemere’s problems were nothing but exacerbating. Against the Magpies, United were awful. Now against the Kestrels they were downright embarrassing. Puddlemere transcended the honour of merely being outclassed, instead appearing to make every effort to dig their own grave.

Every Cannonesque trait of comedy Quidditch was present, from Beater friendly fire to Chaser incoherence, from Seeker cluelessness to team-mate on team-mate collisions. Although equally guilty in defence, Alcmene Blijk was at least threatening on occasion with the Quaffle, inexorably when operating solo. But there was no support or communication amongst the Chasers, isolating Blijk who predictably was duly taken out in the second hour  by Vindictus Winston. It was heartbreaking for poor old Oliver Wood, who must wonder by he bothers. Wood’s single-handed bravery thoroughly trounced the combined efforts of what can scarcely be called his team-mates.

Thanks to the Puddlemere captain, Kenmare led by only 180 inside ninety minutes, instead of 280. But the snitch relevance was already muted, not that a possibly confounded Donaghan Kiddell looked at all capable of catching a snitch anyway.

Deirdre McNally played her quality part as ever, but Fearghal Watkins stepped up, topping the goal charts in a hitherto unseen display of Chaser leadership.

The result was never in doubt and Kiddell was clearly hamstrung by mystery ailments, eventually leaving the field when it was clear there was no point carrying on, so it became a question of when not if. Kenmare Seeker Florentia Denshaw is petite and nimble, able to match any Seeker when it comes to the pursuit, but she is not known for her eagle eye. And so it was that the massacre continued unabated for a further three hours.

Little more can be said about the performance, which was best summarized by a shot Pittiman took from just ten feet which not only embarrassingly hit the post, but proceeded to rebound square into the face of an inattentive Gunther Ellesmere.

It took almost five hours, but Denshaw eventually ended the torture, leaving United to debrief and consider the undeniable fact that they are now a club in deep crisis.


Kenmare Kestrels - 1220: Watkins 44, McNally 41, Rosebottom 22, Denshaw Capture
Puddlemere United - 100: Blijk 4, Pittiman 4, Santini 3


PLAYER OF THE MATCH: FEARGHAL WATKINS (KESTRELS)