Pitiful Puddlemere fall again

Caerphilly Catapults - 770 vs Puddlemere United - 390*

	Catapults	United
Keeper	Carrington	Wood (C)
Chasers	Gwenhwyfar	Pittiman
	Lympsham	Blijk
	Lafarge	Ramley
Beaters	Lofthouse (C)	Blenkinsop
	Aderonis	Burrows
Seeker	Bryson	Hawthorne

Turmoil has engulfed Britain’s oldest Quidditch club. Puddlemere United were not expected to set the world alight and win the League Cup this year, but a comfortably finals berth seemed minimum. But Puddlemere’s last two matches have been beyond even the stuff of the most violent nightmares of players and fans.

This match represented a massive potential turning point in the seasons of both teams. Depending on other results, a win could confirm an impressively surprising finals berth for the Caerphilly Catapults, while officially ending Puddlemere’s retched season. But as the two sides sat together on the ladder, in eighth and ninth, an unlikely return to form could turn the twin fortunes on their head.

For England’s legendary Seeker Donaghan Kiddell, D-Day had finally come. Even a single year ago, as a few scant whispers began to spread that the veteran may be ever so slightly past his best, it would still be an unthinkable notion that he could be dropped from the English team, yet alone his club side.

Yet on this momentous occasion, an entire season of apathy caught up with Kiddell, who was replaced at long last by the much-hyped teen, Hugo Hawthorne.

Hawthorne had made his debut early in the season against the Cannons, where he impressed with his blinding speed, but Percy Prang was hardly a challenge that day, and the match was well won. The Catapults, as well as the unspectacular but efficient Brynmor Bryson, would be a real test for Hawthorne.

There were other changes for Puddlemere as well, with Bastian Burrows returning to Beat for a third time, and Alexei Ramley being Philantha Beamish’s latest desperate ring-in to try and solve her debilitating Chaser problems.

But one could sense before the match that it was all a bit of a lost cause for United. Caerphilly made no changes and look to be a stable and very happy team, and duly punished their disorderly opposition.

As ever, only Oliver Wood and Alcmene Blijk were competitive for United, who were otherwise thoroughly outplayed in every facet of the game. Blijk at least ensured there would not be the hideous dearth of goals that had characterised Puddlemere’s last two matches.

But the defensive leaks were unabated, allowing the Catapults to comfortably draw clear of the snitch margin within a couple of hours, in a high-scoring match.

Bryson was once again struggling through, as he has done slightly too much last year. A frustrated Puddlemere were powerless to halt the flood as the match meandered masochistically onwards towards its inevitable conclusion.

But Hugo Hawthorne was at least able to provide some consolation, effortlessly beating Bryson to the snitch when it came to the final choice, at last providing a glimmer of hope for future promise.

But the match was well won for the Catapults, who can surely now start preparing for finals Quidditch.

Caerphilly Catapults - 770: Lafarge 29, Lympsham 27, Gwenhwyfar 21

Puddlemere United - 390: Blijk 16, Ramley 5, Pittiman 3, Hawthorne Capture

PLAYER OF THE MATCH: CRISIANT LAFARGE (CATAPULTS)