Bashful Ballycastle dominate kamikaze Cannons

Ballycastle Bats - 790* vs Chudley Cannons - 130

	Cannons	Bats
Keeper	Trimble (C)	Malkin
Chasers	Munch	Quigley
	Oglethorpe	Prod
	Rumstich	Thomsonicle
Beaters	Redfern	Nutter
	Buttermere	Skively
Seeker	Prang	Shettigar (C)

After such a stellar 2011 effort, 2012 has gone from bad to worse for the Ballycastle Bats. Clearly their goblet of bad luck is far from running dry, for they found the most inopportune time to get their supposed ‘free win’ against the Chudley Cannons. Having come off a rare win, Chudley’s confidence was sky high and they took the rather unprecedented step of naming an unchanged line-up.

But it was change a-plenty for the Bats. Marcus Montgomery chose not to use a Cannons clash to play his existing line-up back into form, but instead made four alterations. Instead he brought in Clay Prod for his first start this year as well as reverting back to Nobby Nutter and Biana Skively (a previously untried starting Beater combination), and to Xavier Malkin in goal. The question was whether all these axings was respect for their high-flying opponents, or a decisive punishment for mediocrity.

Either way, Montgomery’s managerial axe left the desired mark. With the twin thuggery of big Ignotus Thomsonicle and even bigger Clay Prod at her back, Demeter Quigley was able to dominate the Quaffle. Old Charlie Trimble was as gallant as ever, but could do little to stop the flow of goals. He received little support from his troops. Xanthus Munch was sluggish early and eventually allowed himself to be taken out by a suspiciously damp squib of a Bludging from the club of Skively. Rose Oglethorpe and Rebecca Rumstich showed glimpses of attacking prowess, managing to slowly tick over their goal count thanks largely to Xavier Malkin’s notable lethargy.

But in defence the Cannons were hapless. Their Chasers lacked the size or covering agility to stop the Bats, while their Beaters were downright embarrassing. Gavin Redfern tried his best all week to bring scorn and embarrassment to his club. First he claimed he was somehow responsible for the decidedly-snitch decisive win over the Harpies last week, then was quoted as saying he was the Cannons’ “undisputed Beater leader” and could not understand why “I wasn’t brought to Bludge for Bleedin’ Englan’!”

When the small, nimble and usually anonymous Hesper Buttermere showed herself by far the least incompetent Beater on the day, a red-faced Redfern swung early at a Bludger in anger, shaking it flush into Buttermere’s face. The backlash has been fierce, with critics accusing Redfern of deliberately taking out his own team-mate. In all likelihood Redfern lacks the sufficient aim to so thoroughly knock out another person and the blow was probably a horrendous error borne out of selfish anger. But in neither case was it excusable, and the effect was the same.

With one (incompetent and unsupported by his own team-mates) Beater in play, any chance of a reasonable defence was gone. And so the Bats rampaged clear without ever looking particularly energetic or threatening in the grand scheme of things.

Captain Ajax Shettigar decided that sealing the two points and getting his charges off the pitch fresh was more important than pressing on unnecessarily for a marginally useful minor percentage boost. So when the snitch came into his sight late in the fourth hour, he wasted no time in snapping it up and completing a rare good day for Ballycastle.

Ballycastle Bats - 790: Quigley 40, Prod 14, Thomsonicle 10, Shettigar Capture

Chudley Cannons - 130: Oglethorpe 7, Rumstich 5, Munch 1

PLAYER OF THE MATCH: DEMETER QUIGLEY (BATS)