No Pride for misfiring Cannons

Pride Of Portree - 2150* vs Chudley Cannons - 770

Line-Ups

	Prides	Cannons
Keeper	McCormack	Trimble (C)
Chasers	McNewton	Thickey
	Pilliwickle	Munch
	Mordaunt	Pringle
Beaters	Stroulger (C)	Wigglesworth
	Van Hoorn	Buttermere
Seeker	McBride	Prang

Quidditch was the loser after this endlessly tedious match between two thoroughly unimpressive teams. For those of a masochistic nature though, the Prides and Cannons provided a bizarrely captivating spectacle. From the first minute it was clear we were in for a match worthy of turning one’s head in cringing embarrassment. At the ‘brooms up’ call, Cannons Seeker Percy Prang tripped over his own legs trying to attempt a running jump. Just thirty seconds later the Prides led 10-0 when Chudley Seeker Xanthus Munch accidentally fumbled a backpass past his own Keeper Charlie Trimble and into the right post.

The one thing that could have saved the match was a quick snitch capture, but it was not forthcoming. Prang looks to have taken another step back compared to his already ill-equipped mediocre performance last year. In the second hour he knocked himself out when an attempt at dodging a Bludger resulted in a head-on face plant against a goal post. Meanwhile, Prides Seeker Musidora McBride showed some early promise but was taken out, fortuitously, when Flora Wigglesworth swung her Beater’s Bat at a Bludger, missed, lost her grip, and the club struck McBride flush in the face.

Beyond the sunset, through the full passage of the night and long into the following morning the two teams low-intensity squabbling frittered along. But to the Prides credit, their Chasers were impressive. Stephanie Pilliwickle scored a most unlikely century of goals with her professional efficient counter-attacking lines. Chudley on the other hand, did their best to lose by as much as possible. By the 18^th hour all seven Cannons starters had been hospitalized through various inexplicable accidents. Happily, or perhaps not, the six hour rule (allowing a team to use a secondary line-up of seven substitutes if a match is in its seventh hour or beyond) continued the contest.

It was after 19 hours and 36 minutes that the bandaged and battered McBride managed to get a hold of the snitch near the goal face, completing an inevitable and flattering 1380 point thrashing.

Pride Of Portree - 2150: Pilliwickle 106, MacPunnet 32, McNewton 30, Mordaunt 27, Claverdon 5, McBride Capture

Chudley Cannons - 770: Munch 35, Thickey 16, Bell 13, Oglethorpe 9, Pringle 3, Rumstich 1, Trimble 1

PLAYER OF THE MATCH: STEPHANIE PILLIWICKLE (Prides)